“Their lies make me sick. The hypocrisy. The… the…” his voice fades into silence and his eyes glaze over once again. What once would have riled him into a speech worthy of Churchill, with fierce determination to right the wrongs of world, lights a meagre fire in his eyes; one that is all too quickly extinguished.
“You would’ve never lied to me Blade.” The conviction of his words is absolute, even if his tone remains flat and quiet. My stomach churns from the guilt and his use of past tense.
“You would’ve never lied to me. You were such a good girl. Learning your lessons to improve.” He doesn’t look at me, staring straight ahead, straight down the hill, straight at the church. “Them,” he gestures towards the raging inferno, my raging inferno, the one I started for him. “They never stop fucking lying. It’s… ” he sighs loudly and shakes his head. “…so fucking pointless.”
He still hasn’t looked at me. Even as I led him up to higher ground for a better view. To really appreciate my handiwork, my desecration of God and sanctification to the truth in my Daddy’s name. Even as I explained how well I’d learnt my lesson, the examples I’d seen of purported saints breaking the very tenets they peddle as righteous. Even as I explained how I’ve made them pay, how they will burn for their sins like the witches they are. How I made an example of them.
Daddy doesn’t even look at me as I take him into my eager mouth, to pleasure him physically as my attempts to pleasure him mentally fail. I will use my passion to demonstrate both my appreciation for the lesson and my desire.
Please, please, I want my Daddy back.
I try so hard to be good. To remember all my lessons all the time. “I love your eager mouth,” he’d told me on so many occasions, “Show me you want me,” he’d instructed time and time before. I was showing him. I was showing him in the most overt way I could think of, with the billows of smoke rising high above the vicious flames licking at the building and my lips wrapped around his cock, desperately willing a reaction.
Please, please, I want my Daddy back.
He gently pulls me away from his reluctant member and takes my face in his hands. I long for his fists, for his hard love raining down on me but his touch is soft, his words forlorn “Why do they lie? What good is there in the world if the most revered of society is corrupt? I sent you to learn from them and look…” We both turn towards as a loud bang emanates from the fire-engulfed former holy house. “There is no purpose left for you to learn. Nothing more…” His words trail off again, the only light in his eyes is the reflection of the flickering flames.
Please, please, I want my Daddy back.
“They just lie. They lie and pretend to learn. The lie to me and denounce their pathetic gods only to run away from the truth when I show them. They run away back into the depths of their illusion. They lie and cannot see.” He almost seems to return to me, the words rolling into a familiar sermon but he loses his way and trails off in murmur. “Lies, worthless lies…” that word again, spoken as barely a whisper. Spoken not to me or to anyone but as a solemn statement about the contradictory truth of the world. Everyone lies.
That whore-bitch lied when Daddy tried to help her. I watched her give herself willingly, I watched her open up her cunt and her heart and her mind. I watched her filled with enlightenment, with deep rapturous joy, I watched her filled with Daddy’s cock and I watched her fucking like it. He didn’t even hurt her very much, he didn’t have to, he hurt me instead. I took the beatings that bitch deserved so he could save her soul. What good did it do? She lied in the end too.
I’ve listened to Daddy as he ranted about the lies of the past. Stuck in a repeating loop where details jumbled and meanings doubled. I asked no questions, just listened, listened with loving empathy, listened quietly as the frustration poured out of his mouth and his fists, manifesting in a violence that hurt him as much as it hurt me.
Daddy is right in realising the truth of their deceit.
But Daddy is wrong too, because even I lie. Even me.
His faith in me is misplaced and it eats at my very being. It physically hurts to think about how disappointed he would be to know, to realise that I did lie, a little white one. A small lie, just to help him, or so I thought.
But it hasn’t helped, it didn’t help, it won’t help, not when he knows, not when the guilt finally pushes me over the edge and I have to tell him for fear of it rotting my insides. This secret is killing me.
Will it push him over the edge?
Please, please, I want my Daddy back.
I try again to use my mouth, to fill it with Daddy’s cock, anything to prevent it from betraying me. I suck him every bit as passionately as I ever have, using my hands to massage in time but it’s to no avail. It barely registers. A gentle hand rests on my back, applying pressure so he can move his hips away.
He doesn’t strike me down or kick me away. He doesn’t spin me around and force me onto the ground to be filled, to take whichever hole he so desires. He simply backs away, not even looking at me. He doesn’t want me, he doesn’t care.
With my mouth empty I feel the words start to bubble, my confession working its way up to be spilled. It brings a merry crowd of tears and pain with it. The triad consuming me, becoming me. Words piling out in sobbing wretches that hurt my gut. “I’m sorry Daddy, I lied.”
That gets a reaction.
Daddy’s eyes up until now have been completely unconcerned with me; now they bore into my very soul. He’s waiting for an explanation.
“In the bath Daddy. You…” I stammer, “You asked me whether I touched myself in my girl parts when I saw you with the lady,” the mention of that fateful night makes him flinch involuntarily.
“You asked me Daddy and I lied. I didn’t touch myself. I didn’t.” I continue, my confession coming fast and more babbled, “and…and… and then you touched me, in the bath, you touched me and I only pretended to like it because Daddy it hurt, it hurt so much and I wanted to make you happy but now I’ve made it worse because this hurts more, this hurts so much more because you don’t love me anymore.”
I throw myself to the ground. I throw myself at his feet and I wail. I beg him for forgiveness between splutters and howling sobs. They are audible even over the crackling and popping of the flames that are still devouring the church behind me. Greedily feasting on all contained within. At first you could hear their screams, their cries for help, the smashing of glass and their attempts to escape. Attempts I already knew would be foiled, each one anticipated and prevented. My Daddy taught me well.
Or so I thought. So he thought. His little girl would never lie, that’s not how he raised me.
It surprises me when he scoops me into his arms and starts down the hill. It surprises me sufficiently that I cease my wailing. So overwhelmed with both the speed we are moving and the comfort of being back in his embrace once again.
He moves with purpose. Like a bursting flame I feel the heat of his presence suddenly on me. His hold burns me. I feel him rising from within in a searing rage. I feel his presence and weep in his arms.
Striding down the singed grassy embankment his voice rings out. “You lied to me Blade.” His words hard and true. “You lied.” The word stabs at me. “To me.”
He looks down and the fire of the building reflects back at me. I feel him piercing right to my core, drawing out my soul. “You lied to me, just as they did,” he pauses for just a moment, “and now I watch them burn.”
It surprises me more to move so close to the flames. So close I can feel their heat drying my tears and ash rains down upon us like dirty snowflakes. Fear rises up. What if he burns me too? What if my Daddy choses to do to me as I had done to them.
“You chose their punishment Blade.” Daddy’s words are cold like stone and at odds with the rising heat of the fire as we step ever closer. “You judged them for their lies.” I see where his mind goes. I see the madness take over and I feel as those it has all come to an end.
“You chose to burn them.” He repeats, stuck in his loop. “Burned to death.”
He throws me down.
As I crawl to my feet his hands takes me in a firm grip by the nape of my neck.
“How would you have me judge you?”
The heat presses against me. I feel myself sway. The pressure of his question almost suffocates me. The smoke tears at my lungs, shredding them with their noxious fumes.
“How should I sentence you?”
I falter, unable to cry any more. My lips blister under glare of the red blaze.
“As I did them.” The words come out. I don’t want to say it. I can’t stop them. “In the fire.”
I don’t want to die. Not like this. Not now. I was such a good girl. I tried. I tried so hard for my Daddy. I didn’t want to lie. I didn’t know what to do.
“You would burn?”
I nod weakly, submitting to his will.
“Bless you.” A wretched smile stretches across his face. “My devoted child.”
Daddy pulls me to him and gives me the softest of kisses before striking me in the face. I fall to the ground, low against the grass under the haze of smoke.
He’s crying as he rips off my clothes. Tears I don’t understand. They flow freely down his cheeks, rolling into my hair as he positions himself on top of me. I can feel the heat from the flames prickling against my naked skin but they are nothing compared to the heat of his kisses. His lips take mine; his hands pull me close, holding my hips in place for him to enter.
Daddy takes me like he owns me.
I am Daddy’s girl.
My tears join his, tears of relief. Tears of joy. Tears of absolute overwhelming pleasure. Pleasure without Daddy’s usual pain. Every ounce of his focus is on showing me he loves me, physically demonstrating his devotion. I can feel it.
That connection confirmed with his words. “Oh my Blade, my girl, my precious girl. I am so sorry I abandoned you.” Words lost to kisses, more kisses, kisses and then teeth, sunk into my neck as his thrusts get deeper. Bites that break the skin and thrusts that see him release with a deep Daddy roar.
My body aches from his loving, my cunt stretched, my broken skin bleeding, my heart full.
He pulls us back to a safe distance and wraps his arms around me. We watch the church burn, the fire almost hypnotising in its dance.
I watch and I listen to my Daddy as he strokes my hair. “My darling girl, I’ve been so foolish, I wanted to change the world and yet I didn’t have my own house in order. We do not lie Blade. Look what happens when you lie.” He gestures towards the now unrecognisable bonfire of a building in front of us and cocks his ear towards sirens in the distance.
“I still have so much to teach you and I will not let you down. I will start with my world before trying to right the world out there. I know my place now, I understand, I don’t know how I got so blind.” He shakes his head and squeezes me close, it hurts and his time I say so with a squeak and a wriggle that loosens his grip.
“I know my place and it’s with you. It’s teaching you. It’s being your Daddy. Now let’s go home…”
Home. My heart beams at the word. And even though I know I’ve still to be punished for my indiscretion I will take it, I will take it and I will repent. Forgive me Daddy… I don’t want to sin anymore.