The rain pounds down on the canvas, deafening loud in contrast to the silent grasslands that surrounds me. The hike was long and hard, carrying the dead weight for miles in to the wilderness where I made camp. I can hear the sweet voice of my precious girl, begging me not to leave her behind. She would be so good for her daddy, she pleaded She’d help dig and everything. I know she would but some jobs only daddies should do.
My darling Blade has come so far and learnt so quickly in a way young little things tend to do. But she’s special, she has a talent and dark desire that is only gifted at birth and can’t be learned. Maybe it’s how she came into the world, ripped from her mother’s womb with steel claws? Whatever the cause, the dark light that shines when she is with me is like nothing else. I won’t risk losing that for a meat bag like this, I conclude as I give the corpse a hard crunching kick.
The fool shouldn’t have come barging in when we were playing. Officer of the law or not, he had night right being there. He left me no choice. Not that I cared for his meaningless life. But he forced my hand and now all hell will break loose when people notice he’s not coming home. The dumb fool just ruined everything and now his family will pay. They’ll all pay. They’ll all burn…
Dawn comes slowly as I dig deep into the dry earth. Hours pass as I go about my work, hiding the traces of my “crime”.
“You know they’ll find me eventually,” the meat bag sneers at me. The way he used to sneer at me at the bar when he came rolling in drunk at the end of his shift. “They’ll find me and then take her from you.” His threats from beyond eat away at me, taunts and snipes that boil up as I work until eventually I let out a roar and drive my shovel through his lifeless head.
“Talk now, why don’t you. Talk now while I use you as my toy, you worthless cunt.”
Hours pass and dusk creeps over until I am finally satisfied. Satisfied he will stay dead and buried. Wiping the dirt stained sweat from my brow, I collect my gear and begin the trek back. It’s twice as fast back without the sack over my shoulder. It’s nighttime before I make it back to the house. Blade sits on the porch under the gas lamp. I pause for a moment in the cover of the tree line and watch her. So beautiful. Almost perfect. We’ve made such a beautiful home together, so much hard work put into this place. It will be hard to move on as we must do.
There’s something different in killing for killing’s sake. Death in the name of lust and learning has a sweet taste. A value and need to it. But killing this man comes with a bitter sickness. He didn’t let us play with him first before I was forced to snap his delicate spine.
Brushing the grim thoughts from my mind I step out into the long lawn and march up to my darkling. Instantly she spots me and leaps up, racing across the grass.
“Daddy! Daddy! You were gone so long I thought you might not be coming home.” She sobs as she wraps her arms around me and grips tight.
Letting out a low growl I take her lips with mine and kiss her deeply. Tears rolling from her cheek to mine, washing away the filth in my beard. Without pause I part her legs and thrust my dry bloodstained fingers into her soaking hole. “It’s okay babygirl, Daddy’s home…”
Daddy went away today.
He left me. Daddy left me all alone.
Daddy left me even though I begged and pleaded for him not to. I can still feel the burning of tears he ignored. I am a big girl really, I could’ve helped him dig and bury the man and make it all go away.
Daddy went away and now I’m scared, it’s getting dark and I don’t want to be here on my own. If the man got in then more men could get in and where’s my Daddy? Why isn’t he here to protect me?
I don’t like this fear, it’s not a thrill that makes me want to touch myself in my special place, it’s a cold hard fear. Cold and unforgiving, like Daddy’s eyes as he refused my help, refused my touch, refused the warmth of my cunt.
I must have been bad. Really bad. I know I was begging and being demanding and I know that’s not allowed but I was scared, so scared. This time wasn’t fun, we didn’t get to play, there was no lesson. Daddy just broke him and then he looked broken himself and he wouldn’t let me help.
What if I’m not good enough for Daddy anymore? What if he doesn’t love me. He wouldn’t hurt me to make himself feel better, wouldn’t take me, wouldn’t let me go with him. He didn’t call me his Blade, his darkling. What if my Daddy’s gone forever?
Doesn’t Daddy know what I’d do for him? Can’t he see? I’d bleed for him, just as I do bleed for him. I’d kill for him, just as I do kill for him. I’d die for him.
Take the blade you used to harm.
Cut my heart, let me learn.
How it feels to be your way.
How it is to live your name.
You say you can’t, you say it hurts too much.
But how it hurt when you forgot my love.
So take the blade let me burn it black.
The cut of my nails running down your back.
Fake the scars that mark your hand.
From the memory of the forgotten land.
Remember how it used to feel.
Get inside and make it real.
Cover the slate, wipe it black.
Bring our forbidden demons back.
Take our lies and make them true
Realise my sacrifice for you.