I recently encountered a situation where my boundaries were crossed; I wasn’t hurt and came away just fine though I was shaken and suddenly hyper-aware of my naivety.
I have received a sweet genuine apology with confirmation that my uncomfortable feelings were completely unintended and actually came from a flattering place of wanting to make a connection with me and to encourage my sensuality. No harm done and an important lesson learnt in being more careful and clear about expectations.
Our discussions bought to my attention that certain assumptions can be made about me from this blog. An image created from the gifs and erotic photos I proudly display and my explicit descriptions of sexual acts. This brought to the surface a niggle that had been troubling me – as much as my blog acts as a handy “How To guide” for lovers to push my buttons, is there are potential danger that anyone would see it as an open invite? An agenda of what to expect? An itinerary of an encounter with Babefiend?
This isn’t the first time I’ve pondered my internet image, I often wonder how I compare in person, the ‘real me’ against ‘Babefiend from the internet’? I was once referred to as ‘intimidating’ so, ever the social media whore, I threw it open to the hivemind receiving a variety of answers from hell yes to hell no! An interesting experiment in individual perception, my conclusion being that those who display more self-confidence tend not to find me intimidating at all. All contextual of course, meet me for coffee and chats and you’ll get a very different experience to meeting me at a club, jolly, bouncing and half-naked.
So let me clear up any potential assumptions for you, no matter what your individual perception – I have an extraordinary life, for which I am grateful. I have extraordinary lovers and I show my gratitude for our shared experiences through my gift of words. I love to share these words with you, dear reader, but unless I know you, you’re super-hot and I say you can provide the (s)inspiration – that’s all I’m sharing.
This comes down to the fundamental rule of all things sex and kink.
Sharing my experiences online does not give you consent to try to repeat them. You cannot make the assumption that because I do these things that I will do them with you. This blog details experiences with those I am connected with, amazing people that I trust and love. I choose my friends and lovers carefully.
The most important thing to remember about of the experiences I write about?
Consent has already been agreed.
Without wanting to speak on anyone’s behalf please apply this to all sex bloggers, in fact to all people – all of ‘em! Never assume, check your expectations at the door and seek consent.
This is a blog, a hot diary of my experiences, not an invitation to participate.