Frequently featuring in my posts it’s no surprise that ‘orgasm’ is my most used tag, however inspired by Molly’s recent post More Than Just Orgasms I wanted to jump on the bandwagon and say;
I am not all about cumming, and good sex isn’t defined by orgasms.
Your shocked gasps are probably well deserved. My body is quite magic, as is my man, which means our smug-married sex life is rich is orgasmic activity, hence the frequent references in the blog. However, if it were all about orgasms I could just wank myself to satisfaction but good sex is more; it’s the journey, the connections, the explorative experiences. The importance goes beyond the physical release of climax.
Great sex starts with a build-up, the flirting, the subtle or beautifully brazen hints towards what will follow. Using words and gestures, or perhaps ‘that’look, to get into my mind and connect with me before we make physical contact.
Amazing sex comes with surprises; I’ve lost count of the amount of my blog posts that center around ‘this amazing this happened completely unexpectedly, isn’t that awesome?!” One of the things I adore about my sex life with all it’s kinktaticness is the variety. I know how to cum, what else can you make me do? What else can we explore?
There is an abundance of fun that two or more people can enjoy without aiming for the big O. The teasing and stroking that builds closeness and delivers tactile warmth or delicious shivers. Or at the other end of the scale, the flying experience of bondage or the pleasure-pain of sadomasochism.
Being taken into that extreme headspace is reward in itself and certainly something I couldn’t achieve alone, I want and crave contact, I want and crave a reaction, a connection.
I’m reminded of the most intimate moment shared with my man. In the early hours of a party, danced out and wrapped around each other in a large armchair we locked gaze and lost track of time stroking each other’s faces, gently running fingers over lips, eyelids, the back of his hand softly grazing my cheek. Losing ourselves to slow sensual kisses, hands linked, the warmth of our bodies pushed against each other. Passion manifesting in intense softness. Gentle even as he ripped off my innocent white panties, passing them to the friend who, so enthralled by our intimate scene, he’d taken residence on the floor and, in his own words, was “slowly turning into delicious, twinkling mush..watching, feeling you love each other”. The exhibitionism intensifying the enjoyment of this rare and wonderful experience, played out with neither of us having orgasming in mind.
A highlight of many amazing sexual experiences that haven’t featured an orgasm at all. Whilst I know I’m lucky to be so orgasmic, not everyone is. I enjoy pleasure, giving it, receiving it, just enjoying each other without the risk of over-pressuring the situation by focussing on the orgasm as an end goal. Nothing stops an orgasm in its tracks like the suggestion that it somehow needs to happen to make the sex ‘complete’.
My responsiveness and orgasmicness certainly positively encourages my lovers and equally I relish the power in making someone cum, to have that control over their body and deliver that intense pleasure – which remains an achievement I am proud of whether or not I came too. Yes, they are amazing to achieve but orgasms aren’t everything, there is oh, oh, oh, so much more.