Twice in the same morning I was labelled with the moniker ‘unicorn hunter’.
In both cases it was done in a positive way, one referring to my ‘success’ as a unicorn hunter (glitter related apparently), the other asking ‘teach me your ways’. Both times it got me riled up; seemingly this should be something to be proud of – So why did I find it so offensive?
My reaction was surprising and prompted exploratory discussions with friends and my man to understand why I wouldn’t want to be labelled with something others seem to seek. Plus, they are just words and words can be interpreted in any way chosen, yet still my gut reaction was “Shnarf! Ick”! So why….
For those unfamiliar with the term ‘unicorn’ in this context (not a mythical horny horse!) then Urban Dictionary provides a definition that helps explain where some of my offence comes from. They say it’s often a ‘derogatory, condescending or ironic’ term, suggesting that ‘unicorns’ though rare and desired, are somehow secondary, a mystical bi-sexual woman that a couple can use for sex without rocking their boat at all.
To be clear, we like making new friends; when it feels right, fun and natural then we have amazingly hot fun playing with our friends, both male and female. When it comes to sex and sharing, we have no expectations and no obligations; this is important to us.
Female friends that we have played with are friends before, during and after; we look for that essential connection, that spark. We’ve also been blessed to find something special that’s developed to more, though we weren’t looking for it – or hunting it out.
My offence comes from hating the idea that we could be seen as a predatory couple after any bi-sexual female who is willing to get it on!
I am proud to be accepting and non-judgemental, if you relate to the unicorn label and you’re happy with it then that’s awesomeness. I appreciate how joining a couple for sex can massively benefit their sex life, their relationship and make for fantastically hot times for all three of you. It can be a gift, as this excellent post from Life on the Swingset explains. Certainly our experiences have shown that every new lover teaches you something new.
I’m always down for people to be happy with who they are – I want to be happy with who I am and that includes ensuring I have a reputation I am proud of, so for the record…..
We haven’t been hunting unicorns.
Yes, we’ve had amazingly hot threesomes with amazingly hot girls, you’ve read about them here, but they aren’t just any girls and we didn’t go hunting them out with the same single-minded focus I see from some couples online. Whilst open to fantastically filthy opportunities for fun, we’re not predatory about it.
Happily setting the record straight and only slightly baffled at how we managed to get this reputation to begin with – perhaps people are skipping the blog posts about feelings and going straight for the smut!
I’d welcome your thoughts, are they just words and am I over-reacting? Should I be proud? Does it even matter because anyone who knows us knows the truth? Or is my gut right? More importantly can I justify buying a crossbow for an perverse ironic ‘Unicorn Hunting’ photo shoot? (Any excuse!)